Weird Laws

Americana at its best!

First, from the great state of Washington. In normal fashion, the police in Benton County, Washington received a call that a delivery van had been stolen. At first blush, there would appear to be nothing out of the ordinary about a stolen vehicle call. However, with this call, it became apparent things were not going to be normal. In fact, the call went out as an “all-points bulletin.” Moments after he APB, the van was spotted and the police gave chase. Now this wasn’t exactly a high speed chase – speeds were in the 30-35 mile per hour range, but it was fast enough to convince the police the driver really wanted to get away. However, the police responded in force and overwhelmed the driver with sheer numbers. The driver soon decided to call it a day and the chase ended.

The driver, a 19 year old man was charged with auto theft and felony escape. Reports say it is likely that the reason the driver was caught and the delivery van recovered was because of the police’s quick response time. The owner of the van was undoubtedly happy to get his truck back, especially given that many stolen vehicles are rarely recovered. As an added bonus for the owner of the truck, the cargo was untouched and unharmed. Not one of the dozens of fresh, glazed, sugar or cream doughnuts, or even the apple fritters had been touched. The thief really didn’t have a chance to get into the loot since the police responded as quickly as they did. My only question is who protected the fresh goodies from the police. Good thing there wasn’t a Starbucks nearby.

However, it is a good thing for the doughnut thief that he didn’t pull his caper in Las Vegas- he might have had a tough time finding a good attorney. Seems clients have to be careful when they are retaining counsel in Sin City. Last week, a local Vegas attorney rose to the occasion when it came time to argue his client’s case. Ethical rules of conduct require that attorneys zealously represent their clients. In effect, a client’s best interest must be considered supreme when an attorney is engaged in their case. Well, the Vegas attorney in question decided he absolutely had to appear for his client no matter what he had been doing just before court. However, when he arrived at court 90 minutes late slurring his words the Judge didn’t feel quite as confident with the attorney as he was feeling with himself. The concerned judge questioned the attorney who explained that he had suffered a head injury in a car crash on the way to court. However, when pressed for details by the judge, the attorney’s story began to change.

The judge then announced that she believed the attorney might just be intoxicated. At this point the attorney admitted to having been out drinking the previous night, but he disputed being intoxicated in Court. This judge then became interested in the woman that had accompanied the attorney to court. Apparently she didn’t appear to be the paralegal type. The attorney was quick to inform the Court that the woman was his ex-girlfriend. However, when pressed by the Court, the woman admitted to having never previously met the attorney. Seems she had first encountered him 20 minutes earlier at a bar. Subsequent breath testing revealed that the attorney’s blood alcohol level was .075. While ever-so-slightly below the Nevada legal limit of .08, the level is not one that I would advocate for attorneys in court. However, at the end of the day I think this was one attorney who took the “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” slogan a bit too literally.

Given that I covered a couple of stories of people that should be one the right side of the law, I felt compelled to mention a couple of stupid criminal stories.

One would qualify the culprits in this tale for a visit from their local child protective services agency. That is unless they could convince the social worker they were simply educating the children. A mother and grandmother were video taped via hidden surveillance camera orchestrating a robbery. A video tape released to the public by the police showed a mother directing her two young children to go behind the jewelry counter in a consignment shop and remove certain expensive items. The children then took the jewels to a second woman, believed to be the children’s grandmother, who stashed the jewelry. When the tape was released, the police department was flooded with calls. Soon after, the guilty mother turned herself in at the police department and provided a statement. It seems the children, good kids that they were, were only following instructions from mom and grandma. So the case was cracked. However, in a surprising twist that can only show the trusting nature of the police, the woman was not arrested as there had been on warrant prepared. Police reported that this would take a few days to get ready. I guess things move slow some places. They let the woman go after she promised to return once a warrant was prepared. And who says that there aren’t good people out there anymore?….

Finally, in perhaps one of the most entertaining nods to plain ole’ stupid criminals we look to Ohio. A 22-year old waitress, enjoying an otherwise average day at work, came over to a couple of customers and carded them following their order for some adult beverages. The waitress was surprised at the face she saw when she looked down at one of the id’s – it was her. Apparently a woman at the table had provided the waitress a stolen id when asked. The waitress excused herself and called police; however, the id thief, suspicious at the delay, fled. She did however leave a friend behind whom, when questioned by police, eagerly gave the name of the id thief. The thief was later arrested and charged with identity theft and receiving stolen property. Funny thing was, the woman who was arrested was 23. So not only didn’t she take a moment to look at the id she was giving to the waitress, she opted to provide an id with a younger age. The waitress had lost her wallet a few weeks earlier and was quite excited to have it back. The id thief? Well, hopefully she will be in jail for a while where she can be watched to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.

About Latisha Yarbough

I am a down to earth guy who likes venturing into new grounds

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